There's Alotta Improvin' To Be Had

Day 3: Tell us about something that you think should be improved.

I think Day 3’s question could be improved. Something that I think should be improved - huh? There are so many billions of answers, how do I choose? Most things could be improved. Or, if I am meant to take this question very seriously, like say, I currently work at UMass Amherst and so I should list how I think it could be improved – right? Sure, I got answers. I got tons of stuff to say. I gots about 60 pages of documentation on a bullying environment. I’ve started to think of it in terms of a book, or an article. So yeah, there’s a thing. But to me, ramblin’ on and on, on soc med about some insights I have about higher education – is dumb. I have to write the serious article or book for it to be taken seriously. For me, ramblin’ here would be show-boatin’, blow-hardin’, whatever the term. Buncha sidelines laziness. But I would like to see an improvement in my street food options.

Naked Friday Meetings

Maybe people don't like when middle-aged women use the words "nude" and "naked".

Day 2: Tell us about something that’s important to you.

One of the most important things in my life is my marriage. I love it and I work hard at it. And I would never hope for loving without hard work. For me, that’s the beauty.

When my husband and I decided to open a business together, our marriage went through some hard times. We were in the research, planning, discussion phase and every conversation was a disaster. It was awful. I knew if we couldn’t figure out how to communicate as business partners, there was no point in opening a business. But during those hard times, we both wondered privately if it might be the end of our marriage.

The marriage was more important to me. But I believed we could have both. I had to find a solution. First, instead of random business conversations being forced on you, I decided we should meet weekly. Then, I decided we should be naked. I figured, it would be damn hard to maintain animosity in the face of nudity. The tone changed. The weekly meetings helped. It got to be a habit we loved. Every Friday, take your clothes off, grab your notes and meet in bed. It saved our business communication and actually helped our marriage communicatin’ too.

Turning 50 To-Do List

I wrote this thing on my birthday, for this blog thing. The timing was right, so I figured what the hell. I read Seth Godin's blog daily. This seemed like a good way to return the favor and promote his new book. The idea being when your post shows up on the blog, you get an email, and then you soc med it on yer FB, ig, twitter whatevers. BUT, I just did my 4th submission and have received no confirmations that it posted. Could be a tech thing. OR maybe it's a psychological test! How many people who don't get confirmations stick with the rules? So I'm puttin' the shit here.

Day 1: Why are you doing the Your Turn Challenge?

I turned 50 January 19^th 2014. To honor the milestone, I made a to-do list for my year of 50. It included things like: give blood, pose nude, do stand-up comedy. The comedy scared me most. I figured if I wrote it down and talked about it, I would take the steps to make it happen. The self-determination of the idea intrigued me. Could I overcome a fear simply by adding it to a list? I aimed to find out.

Within the first weeks of 50, I found myself doing something I really didn’t want to do: stand up to bullying. I consider myself a stand-up person and have faced many bullies in life. I wasn’t afraid; I was annoyed. I knew what I was signing up for and it was tension, ostracism, vigilance, persistence and tons of documenting. I didn’t want to do it because I was busy and I knew it would take time and energy. But I completely realized I was the only one who would do it. I felt utterly obligated. I had to do the right thing.

Stand-up comedy was on my list because it terrified me, but I thought I could do it. I knew I could face a bully, but I didn’t want to do it out of laziness and self-interest. I added it to the list, to force myself. Maybe the biggest moments in your life aren’t the ones you add to a to-do list, but the things that find you and how you respond.

I spent many hours preparing for my 6 minutes of comedy. A few friends were there and a few have watched the video on YouTube. I did the hardest thing on my list and I am proud of myself. Fighting bullying took a lot more time and energy, and it made no difference and was only noticed by a few. I am prouder of that work.

It’s my birthday today. I read Seth Godin’s blog every day. The timing seemed perfect. I have things to say. That’s why I am doing the #yourturnchallenge

Navigating Treacherous Terrain

It's icy and treacherous on the streets of Northampton this here birthday. I stared at the ground in front of me as I walked to FOE - and that reminded me of this story (I also found 26 cents). I have a bunch of stories done for my working title "Martinizing Holyoke" zine. I hopes to get it done someday, but why not put a story here, especially when the weather has re-created the memory for me, right? I mean, I could die, or get swept up in other projects, right? I write stories. I find that so awesome. What's it matter if anyone reads 'em? I can't care about that. They'll get read or they won't. I'm just proud I wrote it down.

MOT

I left my friend’s home and headed up Congress Ave toward our house. I focused on the ground as my white rubber pull-on boots navigated the ice and puddles on the sidewalk.  When I looked up to gage how much treacherous terrain remained, I noticed my little brother. He was sitting in a puddle at the base of the neighbor’s driveway. I wondered if he might be stupid. He was a little kid. At an age where my mother would have tied his hood tight and clipped on his mittens. But still, I wondered.

When I got closer I saw he was bawling his eyes out and feeling around the slushy puddle with his soaking wet mittens. Seeing him so sad and pathetic softened me up and I asked what was wrong. Through snotty, choking sobs he told me he got hit in the mouth with a snowball and his loose tooth fell out. He needed to find it or the tooth fairy wouldn’t leave him a quarter. My little heart was breaking for my sad sack baby bro. I wanted to fix everything. I knelt down and looked in the puddle; I didn’t see a tooth. I don’t know what I said, but it amounted to something like, “The tooth fairy is all-knowing, like Santa. She can hear your cries and won’t forget you tonight.You’ve been brave little brother and did your best to find your tooth. She loves you because you tried. We’ll put a note under your pillow for the tooth fairy and she will leave you a quarter.” He stopped crying. He looked at me with his big blue eyes, totally believing my story. 

Anna Sui + Westernmass ME

I have quite a few textile art ideas on my creative projects lists. I work on a bunch of things at the same time and the list grows. I feel no stress about completing things. My 2 full-time jobs and basic chores come first. Creative projects are for spare time and any time I get for them is a pleasure. I don't need to ruin something so lovely by cracking a whip. My brain has gone through a re-framing of sorts in my new life. I'm not very good at explaining it, or even fully understanding it yet. Basically, the things that bothered me about my life and my self before, have evaporated. Life seems so much easier now. I always know what I'm supposed to be doing. I feel like I have so much freedom and so many opportunities, that instead of putting stupid parameters and rules on myself, I just need to relax and go with the flow. If an idea or project gets shelved, it was probably supposed to. It's right there on the shelf. I can pick it up again, and it will have probably benefited from the slow simmer. How would I know what I'm supposed to be doing? I get more done now, and I'm happier than I've ever been. That's more than enough.

I stupidly started embroidering this t-shirt craft night a few years ago. Stitching on stretchy t-shirt material is idiotic. I realized it right away, but kept poking around at it when I wasn't working on another project. My friend T gave me this t-shirt for taking care of her cat when she went to Europe in 1997. I was gonna toss it. It was misshapen and had armpit stains, and then I decided to cut out and embroider the unstained image. Who knows if I would have ever finished it, but T was working on a piece for our textile art show, so it felt like the right time. Now our pieces are hanging next to each other in my gallery. Life is weird and wonderful. I'm pretty sure no one is going to buy it and I owed a dear friend a gift. She harassed me regularly about this exact project (flirting in my world). So I'm gifting it to C. But really, this is all just the big gift that is my life.

30 year sewing project completed

In the 80’s I worked at The Springfield Plaza, a shopping plaza that time forgot. There was a fabric shoppe called Weintraubs. I only remember it from the extended going-out-of-business period. In the real final days, when everything was 90 or more % off and thoroughly picked through, I bought yards and yards of upholstery fabric in the yellow color family. I had no immediate use for the fabric but it was the nicest quality stuff left, yellow apparently unpopular.

That fabric, like an ugly yellow patterned albatross, has traveled with me through every move over 30ish years. Every time I packed it, I would be mad at myself for lugging it around. Whenever I wanted to sew curtains over those 30 years, I would dig it out, look at it and buy new fabric.

I needed curtains in my condo, so pulled out the Weintraubs fabric and started sewing, 4 years ago. I was finally using the albatross when my sewing machine broke. I hand-sewed 2 sides of one panel. Company was coming to stay, so I clipped the fabric to the curtain rod with clothes pins, 4 years ago. And so it stayed. I just got a new/old sewing machine from my Tante. I finished the curtains. Mr. REE is standing on my sewing machine holding the price tag from Weintraubs, in front of the curtains. I have 2 other patterns of the yellow upholstery fabric. That gorgeous sunny vintage fabric that cost me pennies.

Aren't I a comedian if I say I am?

(why I’m doing stand-up)

I am a story-teller, I’ve decided. I write and tell stories. And you know, read, think about and discuss them. I write and tell in different formats and situations and I enjoy the process. But I wonder, is there something that I am better at than another? Should I really try to focus on one area? Or jump around as the project, timing and opportunities present themselves? How to know? I decided to devise an experiment.

I think I’m hilarious. But when am I funniest and how best to be funny? And why even bother trying to figure it out? Well, because I added “do open-mic stand-up comedy” to my “things to do in my year of 50” list. Since I was already thinking about it, I figured why not use comedy to test if I should focus, or jump around. It’s not a fool-proof test, but there will be data, experiences, feedback, stuff to analyze. Something’s gonna happen.

I’ve got a rough routine. I wrote it as a humor piece and submitted it to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency on 10/7. We’ll see what happens. I’m editing this piece here about my intentions and will post it to my blog right before I walk over to do my first stand-up open-mic. I will put it here so it has a place to be and to document my intentions in advance. Keeps me honest. I will walk over with or meet friends at Bishop’s Lounge. One of them will tape it. I will post my video to YouTube. I will link to video and essay in my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Something’s gonna happen.

Then really, whatever happens, I get to interpret it. If I loved doing stand-up, receive a warm response and my friends liked it – I will try again. What if I hate live performance and bomb, but my written humor is accepted by Internet Tendency – then I will try to do more written humor pieces. Maybe the response and feelings are equal – then I jump around. So I have a date, a crew, and something to say. Then just see what happens. It’s all learning. It’s all equal. All outcomes are the right outcomes.